A Certain Interesting IRC Chat
A Certain Japanese Quake.
A Certain Otaku Teacher: lol i was playing my playstation 3 and my controller was rumbling
A Certain Otaku Teacher: and then my house started rumbling
A Certain Russian President: and you were liek
A Certain Russian President: "omg power of the ps3!"
A Certain Otaku Teacher: it was like dual shock next gen lol
A Certain Italian Stalker: how was the ad
A Certain Italian Stalker: "do not underestimate the power of playstation?"
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Hip Tattoos After Pregnancy
1.Good bye Alice
Good evening folks!
This is the first chapter of the story I had anticipated ...
I've written in a different way, to be honest as I wrote before the LJ two years ago ...
can like it or not, but I can better express what I mean .. since then that this story is told by my alter ego, first-person ...
Sorry if I did not spurt like fun, but died this morning one of my three dogs. Then
say they are not unlucky ...
'm broken, but this time ANSIChar cut my arm .. so I wrote quest'indroduzione-prologue is even more distressing (as well as being mileage) ... at least for a while I have not thought about my Chicca \u0026lt;3 \u0026lt;3
The cover as usual is no sim .. and has a rather metaphorical meaning, but it will be understood only in a long time ..
September 12, 2009 4:47 pm
notte.Dell the 'dawn, just in case. And I fucking
paura.Una, stramaledettissima distressing afraid of cock.
not be able to sleep, I'm sure.
7.30 am in the morning. A young
ray of sunshine through the window, illuminating a triangle on the ground.
The birds are singing happy and carefree, the outside, free.
In the air you can take an extreme sense of loneliness and melancholy beauty, that air which often evokes a myriad of past memories, stored in the back of the mind, that you completely empty your heart when approached again to consciousness.
E 'excruciating torture, but sweet at the same time, which in any case you want to be.
I look at the bags of Louis Vuitton and Prada set aside in a corner of the room I share with my brother, and I can not hold a long and agonized sigh.
now there were only eight hours at the start ... I had to get used to not seeing what all'dea I was seeing at that moment, what I saw and lived for eighteen years.
"Cursed July 17 .." a voice echoes in my head.
No, damn you.
Every time I try to Push back into the hole from which it comes, but she did not know how, always manages to get out.
And he always fucking right, shit!
Yeah, damn evening of 17 July two thousand and eight.
If only possessed of a way to turn back time, you probably do not make the same fatal error.
The problem is the fact that I was not exactly me, That damn Sera pre ..
-Alice ..!!- stranca called the voice of my mother from the kitchen, interrupting my thoughts.
Taken by surprise, I turn to secure the door with an absent air, convinced that you open at any moment.
But no, after a couple of minutes to realize that having to move your ass it's me.
I get up, and with very little drag me beyond belief.
As soon as I get closer to the door I hear the excited voices of my parents.
is not a good sign.
-Jerard For heaven's sake! I'm not even sure you want to! - The voice of my mother upset and fragile, but determined.
-E 'for his own good! And for our Ketrin ... or you've already forgotten the hell that we had in the past year?! -
hiss like snakes about to attack, are almost scary. Sigh
launching his eyes, and taking courage, I materialize in front of them pretending not to hear anything.
Their faces are transformed when they see me, they soften slightly.
-Honey, are you ready? Teresa will be here for eight ..- .. you're still in my pajamas with my mother tells me forcibly sympathetic tone, but it is obvious that if I was still a normal person, I would have screamed like a banshee.
My parents from that day had really done everything to make me feel more "at home" but unfortunately when a vessel is broken, it is very difficult to put the pieces together to form even without a crack.
My father looked at me resignedly, then makes a distracted smile.
He has not quite forgiven me, I'm certa.Glielo you in the eyes, those two big green balls.
... And we blame him?
smile too, but mine is a melancholy smile, sad and desolatorio.Detesto the compassion and the pain that leaked from their eyes.
nod slightly, and disappear behind the door of the bathroom.
was useless to pretend happiness.
Although I was born to play with them farlo.Erano did not want my parents would not be useless.
Poso bathrobe and a towel over the sink.
I take the brush, by now worn out, and cover them with toothpaste, then passing it under cold water.
I have always loved to brush my denti.Togliere away all evil, making them white, clean and pure.
I do a toothy smile, admiring the splendor, and natural white.
Maybe I could clean up my soul so easily ..
My gaze then shifts on reflection one of my eyes and greenish brown hue, which were changing in the sunlight giallo.Come a demon.
"What have you done .." come back to haunt me that fucking voice.
not the answer, because I could not farlo.Non was me who had to ask.
It was not me, That Sera.Il my only mistake, at most, was to not be able to prevent the emergence of a Bitch. And
enough.
I am a good person.
I open the faucet of the bathtub, and let the roar of the water to rock me for a while '.
Meanwhile I undress, and as always reject a retching to see me naked.
sucks.
Just this.
sucks.
How I hated ...
Every time I saw myself, I had to see Lei.La Bitch.
At least, that evening, I managed not to hear the voice of his diabolical and deceiving Nightingale, who like the tune of the Pied Piper of Hamelin, dragged away with it all on which his eyes rested.
But those eyes ... those eyes full of malice, lust ... those eyes that used to dress up with the innocence of a girl ... not the ones I would never leave her alone, ever.
hesitantly touch the liquid surface, that seemed to smoke, and in fact I bill.
then wait another ten minutes before entering, and for once I can not think nothing.
When diving, a shiver runs down my spine, even though the water was still hot.
I knew what it was ... it was you wanted to force me to hurt me, but I'm not going to let gleilo!
No, she would die slowly, and I would have done more male.MAI MORE '. As for me, nor him, nor to anyone else.
I look at my hands wet and diaphanous, and a second watery blood.
Serro eyes immediately.
My breath is heavy and tortuous, but I would not have sold for any reason.
I look at it again.
Pale, clean, innocenti.Avevano perhaps received the grace? Yes ...
sì.Non more blood would cry, never again.
*** I'm still in a bathrobe.
missing ten minutes to the arrival of Terry, my best friend, my angel, she who smiled at me again, without a trace of compassion, true, like I still have that before.
prima.Ma I am the one to the other can not understand it.
Some want but can not, but do not want other posssono.
Just my angel, could and would understand.
traffic among the few clothes that have remained in my part of the chest, unable to decide on what to wear.
wonder, then, if there I could have quotas to smother with my regular clothes ...
Meanwhile I put the pendant of forgiveness, which, as usual, would fit perfectly on any boss.
No, not a simple necklace is an amulet, a charm, the only part of him that still had mine.
It 's my eyes, my voice is ... everything.
makes me believe that he is still here with me, and that can see me and remember me for what I am really, the one with which he has always lived and shared everything.
And not that being evil that had to see for the last time.
Suddenly someone knocks on the door, making me wince. This time
slowly opens, revealing a glimpse to face.
My Lips comes the rainbow, smiling faces when Terry.
-Ehiiii? Excuse me, it allowed? - By improvising jokes the voice of a man.
practically fell on her neck, and almost fall down.
I hold strong, her words are not, have never served.
feel pinch your eyes, but I want to be forte.Non I cry.
"But as we are energetic this morning eh? - Still laughing.
I laugh too, and although it can not hear me, knows that I'm laughing with her. First
.
-I see that the Your punctuality is improving ..! Have you decided what to wear? - Asks me rummaging in my guardaroba.Poi looks at me.
shake my head.
-Ok, you need a consultant as the undersigned BRAVA: Teresa Cutcher ..-
mel'abbia I'm glad you asked, she had not yet mastered the silent language, so it would be quite complicated to make him understand.
nod gioiosamente.Ho always loved his sarcasm and his self-irony.
After careful evaluation of all the leaders of abbiagliamento I had available, we arrive at a tremendous crossroads: the blue dress that I got into vintage boutique near my house, for the first appointment with him, or the red one that he had given me for last Christmas?
It 's absurd, I know.
But what I want, I can not forget about him, I can be able to have a detachment from what he is concerned.
E 'wrong, I know, but Terry did not judge me for that.
-In my opinion ... is better than red blu.Quello puts it at Christmas, and you will all die of envy, there ...- you choose her, pleased with what you said.
now nod in agreement, but then the sadness inevitably makes its way over us and enfolds us like a heavy blanket.
He looks down on the ground, and after a few seconds, a tear flows through the cheek destra.Vorrebbe stop, but fails, and it pierces my soul even more.
-Sorry ... I should not ...- mumbles between sobs and another-But ... you know .... I miss you so much ...- bursting into a convulsive end.
odio.E me 'my fault.
I hate I hate I hate I hate ...
the belt with his arms, strong, I understand that this embrace will be forever, like a ring, it will not have a beginning or end.
Only there will be forever, and nothing can break it, not even a long distance in time and space.
lean my head on his shoulder, and I cry too, for endless minutes.
I'm crying desperately, and can not hear me, but he knows I'm crying with her. ***
past eleven o'clock, when I see Terry in tears, to cross that threshold for the last time.
Needless groped to explain the pain.
That morning, for the last time I had seen and heard laughing on the deck under the tree in front of the pool while I wallow in the water, like all times during the summer days of a year earlier.
That morning, for the last time I had dried and combed her hair, helped her makeup and clothes, to my laments whenever deliberately neglected.
That morning, for the last time, I had watched, played, lived.
Between a laugh and a tear, we knew that was unarmed that our purpose in space for sure, but not in time, no.
Our names have remained close, united, for the rest of our days, and beyond. ***
now is before the mirror in my room.
observe my every line, curve and shape. My mileage
brown hair, straight and stiff as needles, blood on my lips, my skin stained and holed as an old rag.
A rag that had cleaned up too much blood, soaking and rotting.
Mom and dad are in the kitchen, probably cry, because I hear her sobs and sighs.
And it's all their fault mia.Per.
went throughout the house patting the walls, scrutinizing every little detail of every room, not knowing that I would see more.
Arrival in the kitchen, crossing their eyes wet and desperate.
I do nothing, so every little gesture that would not lead to a new tear.
I look at my watch. It's almost a
.
Soon there would be the final massacre. *** Think
-treasure ... San Francisco! One of the most that there may be beautiful! And you'll see! - The mother exclaims with enthusiasm, the euphoria that seems more before his martyrdom.
She is sitting on the couch, I can not stand still, and I continue to go up and down the living room.
E 'vero.Vedrò San Francisco. Unfortunately
with different eyes, from what I would see them if I went on vacation.
But anyway, I would see.
He gets up too, and I was next.
-Miraccomando make many beautiful photos, and then send it to us ... right? - Ask me as if I were leaving for a school trip.
E 'piercing this is false, is a sharp blade.
and we are the cattle, alas, are ready for slaughter.
I nod in feigned a careless and happy, then I smile with an open heart, and hug.
I've never been an affectionate person, if not with him, but now I understand that certain actions against certain people, could have been the last for my entire life.
Mum burst into tears, of course.
This time I did not cry, but I have a broken heart.
-We ... we will write every day, and we talk on the phone ... as if there will ever leave me, understand? - Babbles through the nose clogged.
Like the two pigs that promise of being in paradise.
The scene would have been funny in another context.
I nod again, even though I already know that will not be true, or at least not forever ...
From the beginning we hear every two hours, at a minimum, and we will write every other day, and no one, via e-mail ... then the calls are cut in half after two or three months, and the mail will reach if all goes well, once a week.
After six months there will be no more letters, and phone calls will vary from three to four per month, up to the two or three a year.
Unfortunately, like it or not we would have found exactly that. The sound of
keys in the lock, melt embrace suffering, and I announce the imminent arrival of the earthquake as an earthquake.
The little voice of Justin and Lisa reach me your ear and the heart, like a stab to the chest.
For now, therefore, a false alarm.
-Where 's? Where is Alice? - All excited to ask my father, who tries in vain to temper them.
-E 'of the time, if CALMAST a moment, perhaps would you be able to meet her ...- he continues with exhaustion.
were just out of school and kindergarten, and certainly throughout the morning had longed for this moment.
guffaw to myself.
Illus ...
None has never desired to melt in the embrace of fiery hell.
-Miraccomando, try not to make you sad to see ... is hard enough so ...- I begged my mother, with eyes downcast.
After all they are only children should not suffer trauma because of me. That
, USA.
I nodded my head, then looked out of the room.
soon come wriggling like mad these two frugoletti.
We welcome you with a smile to fifty teeth, and let me invest their innocence vehemently.
crushes them in their arms, abandoned to their angelic tenderness.
But the flames of hell, would not have turned off anyway.
My brothers, my little angels, pure and innocent ...
Probably I would have reviewed with white hair and with their grandchildren in their arms, if I was okay.
breathe deeply, and the scent of apricot shampoo Lisa fills me with sad joy.
No, I did not cry, no.
Tears of the demon are like gasoline, would only increase the fire, worsening the disaster.
I sit on the couch with the baby, followed by Justin.
I enjoy the last moments in paradise, quegl'infimi moments that I have been granted. My hands were
You receive the grace, but not my soul.
Like this morning, melancholy pervades me totally, but I'm stronger.
-I miss you big sister ... now who will tease? - Makes me Jus chin trembling, a clear sign that he was going to cry.
stroked him gently and looked at him gently.
My lips form the name of Samuel, continued by another evil grin tenderly. But
-Samuel is smarter, and then hit me if I bother! - Continues to complain about looking into my eyes.
How I envy her childhood.
Already
-Tamuel and hunted with us! - Lisa puts it, that still does not speak very well, given his age babies.
I wanted to laugh so much out loud, but I just do it in silence, as usual.
No, it is true that Samuel is bad ... it's not true.
Samuel is angelo better and more beautiful than the sky can accommodate, but so, too much anger inside.
That a boy of eleven, and a child of four could not understand it.
We stay for a while so, in that bitter knot that was about to melt, until arrives, this time really, the earthquake. ***
The bell, pressed firmly and insistently, he takes us by surprise, scared.
is Samuel, the arrogant angel. The small
clinging to my neck, while Justin runs in their bedroom, rinchiudendocisi inside.
I do not dare go to open it to move a muscle.
I hear my mother to hurry to make him stop.
A thud and a cry startled us for the second time.
Lisa starts to cry, but I keep close to me, so send my safety.
-Samuel, for heaven's sake, get a CALM !!!!!- cries my mother to my brother, a adolescent of sixteen years filled with anger was violently slammed the front door, and without listening to it was then stowed in our room.
close my eyes, hoping that my father did not intervene.
But in vain.
When I hear his steps heavy and powerful approach, I stand up quickly, and Lisa from Justin port.
repeatedly knock the door until I open.
-E 'pissed is not it? - Allarmatissimo the baby asks me, his eyes full of concern.
nod, and then gave him a dirty looks, I know that it bothers me to say bad words.
Come, do not cry ...- then turned to Lisa, bringing it to play with stuffed animals. I feel close
the door, and lead to my room like a lightning bolt during a storm.
My mother is there, desperate, with my father who violently beats his fists against the door.
-SAM, OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR, OR I SWEAR THAT THE Knock down'!!!!!- angry cries, like a raging torrent.
Obviously Sam is not responding.
do not realize that they are, otherwise they would stop.
between dad and I toss the door before he can smash it with a kick.
-Oh, man, Alice! What are you doing?! - Blurts out throwing punches in the air.
stared into her eyes. I do not want
frighten him, sure, but he knows not to make me angry.
E 'conscious of the fact that you should not throw gasoline on the fire.
Her look is a mix of bitterness, exasperation, and disappointment.
-Jerard, please ...- sighs My mother looked imploringly.
A torrent could never put out a fire so devastating.
Move your eyes from her to me, then goes away contemptuously, yelling and cursing, stalked by my mother weeping and trembling.
I repeat, do not blame him.
When finally, after about a quarter of an hour, the forest fell silent I decided to knock. From inside
my room is there no noise, not even the buzzing of a fly.
Everything is silent.
Samuel is angry with me, and I know why, but I could not believe that I can hold a grudge so much!
After a while, though, here he comes to the door.
I do not have time to open his mouth, that pulls me in with a jerk, then looking at both right and left closes the door and turns toward me with a resentful air.
-So?? Are you satisfied?? - Hissed at me with those emerald out of their sockets, and a crooked smile and maniacal.
I look down on the ground, with repentance and regret. In a few
moments you create an awkward silence.
-So?? That there is now no longer even talk to me ???!- continue increasing the intensity of the stamp, the risk of scratching the trachea.
remain muta.Forse had not understand the concept ... I could not speak.
I could not hear the notes of my demons, and his voice.
I could, and did not want.
Launch angry sigh, running his hands through his hair.
-Okay, okay ... let's put it this way ... if you could open the goddamn mouth, most likely would not be forced to go to an institution for the mentally ill, overseas !!!!!- exacerbates gesticulating animatedly with his hands.
shake my head as tears began to flow over the cheekbones, Scott.
was certainly not why I was going to be ripped off from Newport, my beloved hometown, and he knew better than me, he kept the oppressed in this manner? He pants
sinking into the chair next to my bed.
-Look ... I'm sorry ... ok? I just want you ... I would not go away from me ... I know that, right? - Asks me trying not to cry.
course capisco.E 'what I want too much.
We grew up together, we had only two years apart, and have always been a virtually all one.
Everything we have done in our lives, we've always done insieme.Sempre.
And now we should have split for the first time, for eternity.
falls back a surreal silence, muffled by the hum of the Play Station solto on, and our breaths.
With distraction, Sam looks at his watch, and all of a sudden jumps up with a splash, launching an expletive.
-Shit! Shit, Alice are the two! Ca ... FUCK! - Ends with a screeching, remaining in the middle of the room with his mouth open and eyes even more.
was time, more minutes, not minutes. I
At three, my mother, my father and we should have found all'areoporto, and we should take the flight to San Francisco.
I would have accompanied the institution, would have finished the last paperwork with the director of the structure, and then come back here would be broken down, leaving me in another continent alone and convicted.
I want, I want to say something, anything, but my lips can not get out any sound.
I limit myself to go near him, I would hug him, but I fear a wrong reaction.
-I at least promise not to do other shit?? - Look at me without asking me, gasping like a mad bull.
I nod in silence, and I am amazed when I hear it wrapped around me.
At this point, the raging rivers overflow.
not even try to stop the tears that fall straight on our faces.
remain so, real estate, in the middle of the room for an indefinite amount of time, immersed in an ocean of bitter and salty, while the anger begins to grow moment by moment.
NO ... no, I would never permit her to come out.
I would have left burning in his own flames, screaming and screaming, until his own fire had not swallowed.
I would have done to Sam, Lisa, for Jus.
I would have done for mom and dad.
I would have done to Terry.
I would have done for him I would have done for me.
But like a phoenix, she would be reborn from its ashes. ____________________________________________________
I dedicate this chapter to my Chicca, which has now reached Penny forever.
Good evening folks!
This is the first chapter of the story I had anticipated ...
I've written in a different way, to be honest as I wrote before the LJ two years ago ...
can like it or not, but I can better express what I mean .. since then that this story is told by my alter ego, first-person ...
Sorry if I did not spurt like fun, but died this morning one of my three dogs. Then
say they are not unlucky ...
'm broken, but this time ANSIChar cut my arm .. so I wrote quest'indroduzione-prologue is even more distressing (as well as being mileage) ... at least for a while I have not thought about my Chicca \u0026lt;3 \u0026lt;3
The cover as usual is no sim .. and has a rather metaphorical meaning, but it will be understood only in a long time ..
September 12, 2009 4:47 pm
notte.Dell the 'dawn, just in case. And I fucking
paura.Una, stramaledettissima distressing afraid of cock.
not be able to sleep, I'm sure.
7.30 am in the morning. A young
ray of sunshine through the window, illuminating a triangle on the ground.
The birds are singing happy and carefree, the outside, free.
In the air you can take an extreme sense of loneliness and melancholy beauty, that air which often evokes a myriad of past memories, stored in the back of the mind, that you completely empty your heart when approached again to consciousness.
E 'excruciating torture, but sweet at the same time, which in any case you want to be.
I look at the bags of Louis Vuitton and Prada set aside in a corner of the room I share with my brother, and I can not hold a long and agonized sigh.
now there were only eight hours at the start ... I had to get used to not seeing what all'dea I was seeing at that moment, what I saw and lived for eighteen years.
"Cursed July 17 .." a voice echoes in my head.
No, damn you.
Every time I try to Push back into the hole from which it comes, but she did not know how, always manages to get out.
And he always fucking right, shit!
Yeah, damn evening of 17 July two thousand and eight.
If only possessed of a way to turn back time, you probably do not make the same fatal error.
The problem is the fact that I was not exactly me, That damn Sera pre ..
-Alice ..!!- stranca called the voice of my mother from the kitchen, interrupting my thoughts.
Taken by surprise, I turn to secure the door with an absent air, convinced that you open at any moment.
But no, after a couple of minutes to realize that having to move your ass it's me.
I get up, and with very little drag me beyond belief.
As soon as I get closer to the door I hear the excited voices of my parents.
is not a good sign.
-Jerard For heaven's sake! I'm not even sure you want to! - The voice of my mother upset and fragile, but determined.
-E 'for his own good! And for our Ketrin ... or you've already forgotten the hell that we had in the past year?! -
hiss like snakes about to attack, are almost scary. Sigh
launching his eyes, and taking courage, I materialize in front of them pretending not to hear anything.
Their faces are transformed when they see me, they soften slightly.
-Honey, are you ready? Teresa will be here for eight ..- .. you're still in my pajamas with my mother tells me forcibly sympathetic tone, but it is obvious that if I was still a normal person, I would have screamed like a banshee.
My parents from that day had really done everything to make me feel more "at home" but unfortunately when a vessel is broken, it is very difficult to put the pieces together to form even without a crack.
My father looked at me resignedly, then makes a distracted smile.
He has not quite forgiven me, I'm certa.Glielo you in the eyes, those two big green balls.
... And we blame him?
smile too, but mine is a melancholy smile, sad and desolatorio.Detesto the compassion and the pain that leaked from their eyes.
nod slightly, and disappear behind the door of the bathroom.
was useless to pretend happiness.
Although I was born to play with them farlo.Erano did not want my parents would not be useless.
Poso bathrobe and a towel over the sink.
I take the brush, by now worn out, and cover them with toothpaste, then passing it under cold water.
I have always loved to brush my denti.Togliere away all evil, making them white, clean and pure.
I do a toothy smile, admiring the splendor, and natural white.
Maybe I could clean up my soul so easily ..
My gaze then shifts on reflection one of my eyes and greenish brown hue, which were changing in the sunlight giallo.Come a demon.
"What have you done .." come back to haunt me that fucking voice.
not the answer, because I could not farlo.Non was me who had to ask.
It was not me, That Sera.Il my only mistake, at most, was to not be able to prevent the emergence of a Bitch. And
enough.
I am a good person.
I open the faucet of the bathtub, and let the roar of the water to rock me for a while '.
Meanwhile I undress, and as always reject a retching to see me naked.
sucks.
Just this.
sucks.
How I hated ...
Every time I saw myself, I had to see Lei.La Bitch.
At least, that evening, I managed not to hear the voice of his diabolical and deceiving Nightingale, who like the tune of the Pied Piper of Hamelin, dragged away with it all on which his eyes rested.
But those eyes ... those eyes full of malice, lust ... those eyes that used to dress up with the innocence of a girl ... not the ones I would never leave her alone, ever.
hesitantly touch the liquid surface, that seemed to smoke, and in fact I bill.
then wait another ten minutes before entering, and for once I can not think nothing.
When diving, a shiver runs down my spine, even though the water was still hot.
I knew what it was ... it was you wanted to force me to hurt me, but I'm not going to let gleilo!
No, she would die slowly, and I would have done more male.MAI MORE '. As for me, nor him, nor to anyone else.
I look at my hands wet and diaphanous, and a second watery blood.
Serro eyes immediately.
My breath is heavy and tortuous, but I would not have sold for any reason.
I look at it again.
Pale, clean, innocenti.Avevano perhaps received the grace? Yes ...
sì.Non more blood would cry, never again.
*** I'm still in a bathrobe.
missing ten minutes to the arrival of Terry, my best friend, my angel, she who smiled at me again, without a trace of compassion, true, like I still have that before.
prima.Ma I am the one to the other can not understand it.
Some want but can not, but do not want other posssono.
Just my angel, could and would understand.
traffic among the few clothes that have remained in my part of the chest, unable to decide on what to wear.
wonder, then, if there I could have quotas to smother with my regular clothes ...
Meanwhile I put the pendant of forgiveness, which, as usual, would fit perfectly on any boss.
No, not a simple necklace is an amulet, a charm, the only part of him that still had mine.
It 's my eyes, my voice is ... everything.
makes me believe that he is still here with me, and that can see me and remember me for what I am really, the one with which he has always lived and shared everything.
And not that being evil that had to see for the last time.
Suddenly someone knocks on the door, making me wince. This time
slowly opens, revealing a glimpse to face.
My Lips comes the rainbow, smiling faces when Terry.
-Ehiiii? Excuse me, it allowed? - By improvising jokes the voice of a man.
practically fell on her neck, and almost fall down.
I hold strong, her words are not, have never served.
feel pinch your eyes, but I want to be forte.Non I cry.
"But as we are energetic this morning eh? - Still laughing.
I laugh too, and although it can not hear me, knows that I'm laughing with her. First
.
-I see that the Your punctuality is improving ..! Have you decided what to wear? - Asks me rummaging in my guardaroba.Poi looks at me.
shake my head.
-Ok, you need a consultant as the undersigned BRAVA: Teresa Cutcher ..-
mel'abbia I'm glad you asked, she had not yet mastered the silent language, so it would be quite complicated to make him understand.
nod gioiosamente.Ho always loved his sarcasm and his self-irony.
After careful evaluation of all the leaders of abbiagliamento I had available, we arrive at a tremendous crossroads: the blue dress that I got into vintage boutique near my house, for the first appointment with him, or the red one that he had given me for last Christmas?
It 's absurd, I know.
But what I want, I can not forget about him, I can be able to have a detachment from what he is concerned.
E 'wrong, I know, but Terry did not judge me for that.
-In my opinion ... is better than red blu.Quello puts it at Christmas, and you will all die of envy, there ...- you choose her, pleased with what you said.
now nod in agreement, but then the sadness inevitably makes its way over us and enfolds us like a heavy blanket.
He looks down on the ground, and after a few seconds, a tear flows through the cheek destra.Vorrebbe stop, but fails, and it pierces my soul even more.
-Sorry ... I should not ...- mumbles between sobs and another-But ... you know .... I miss you so much ...- bursting into a convulsive end.
odio.E me 'my fault.
I hate I hate I hate I hate ...
the belt with his arms, strong, I understand that this embrace will be forever, like a ring, it will not have a beginning or end.
Only there will be forever, and nothing can break it, not even a long distance in time and space.
lean my head on his shoulder, and I cry too, for endless minutes.
I'm crying desperately, and can not hear me, but he knows I'm crying with her. ***
past eleven o'clock, when I see Terry in tears, to cross that threshold for the last time.
Needless groped to explain the pain.
That morning, for the last time I had seen and heard laughing on the deck under the tree in front of the pool while I wallow in the water, like all times during the summer days of a year earlier.
That morning, for the last time I had dried and combed her hair, helped her makeup and clothes, to my laments whenever deliberately neglected.
That morning, for the last time, I had watched, played, lived.
Between a laugh and a tear, we knew that was unarmed that our purpose in space for sure, but not in time, no.
Our names have remained close, united, for the rest of our days, and beyond. ***
now is before the mirror in my room.
observe my every line, curve and shape. My mileage
brown hair, straight and stiff as needles, blood on my lips, my skin stained and holed as an old rag.
A rag that had cleaned up too much blood, soaking and rotting.
Mom and dad are in the kitchen, probably cry, because I hear her sobs and sighs.
And it's all their fault mia.Per.
went throughout the house patting the walls, scrutinizing every little detail of every room, not knowing that I would see more.
Arrival in the kitchen, crossing their eyes wet and desperate.
I do nothing, so every little gesture that would not lead to a new tear.
I look at my watch. It's almost a
.
Soon there would be the final massacre. *** Think
-treasure ... San Francisco! One of the most that there may be beautiful! And you'll see! - The mother exclaims with enthusiasm, the euphoria that seems more before his martyrdom.
She is sitting on the couch, I can not stand still, and I continue to go up and down the living room.
E 'vero.Vedrò San Francisco. Unfortunately
with different eyes, from what I would see them if I went on vacation.
But anyway, I would see.
He gets up too, and I was next.
-Miraccomando make many beautiful photos, and then send it to us ... right? - Ask me as if I were leaving for a school trip.
E 'piercing this is false, is a sharp blade.
and we are the cattle, alas, are ready for slaughter.
I nod in feigned a careless and happy, then I smile with an open heart, and hug.
I've never been an affectionate person, if not with him, but now I understand that certain actions against certain people, could have been the last for my entire life.
Mum burst into tears, of course.
This time I did not cry, but I have a broken heart.
-We ... we will write every day, and we talk on the phone ... as if there will ever leave me, understand? - Babbles through the nose clogged.
Like the two pigs that promise of being in paradise.
The scene would have been funny in another context.
I nod again, even though I already know that will not be true, or at least not forever ...
From the beginning we hear every two hours, at a minimum, and we will write every other day, and no one, via e-mail ... then the calls are cut in half after two or three months, and the mail will reach if all goes well, once a week.
After six months there will be no more letters, and phone calls will vary from three to four per month, up to the two or three a year.
Unfortunately, like it or not we would have found exactly that. The sound of
keys in the lock, melt embrace suffering, and I announce the imminent arrival of the earthquake as an earthquake.
The little voice of Justin and Lisa reach me your ear and the heart, like a stab to the chest.
For now, therefore, a false alarm.
-Where 's? Where is Alice? - All excited to ask my father, who tries in vain to temper them.
-E 'of the time, if CALMAST a moment, perhaps would you be able to meet her ...- he continues with exhaustion.
were just out of school and kindergarten, and certainly throughout the morning had longed for this moment.
guffaw to myself.
Illus ...
None has never desired to melt in the embrace of fiery hell.
-Miraccomando, try not to make you sad to see ... is hard enough so ...- I begged my mother, with eyes downcast.
After all they are only children should not suffer trauma because of me. That
, USA.
I nodded my head, then looked out of the room.
soon come wriggling like mad these two frugoletti.
We welcome you with a smile to fifty teeth, and let me invest their innocence vehemently.
crushes them in their arms, abandoned to their angelic tenderness.
But the flames of hell, would not have turned off anyway.
My brothers, my little angels, pure and innocent ...
Probably I would have reviewed with white hair and with their grandchildren in their arms, if I was okay.
breathe deeply, and the scent of apricot shampoo Lisa fills me with sad joy.
No, I did not cry, no.
Tears of the demon are like gasoline, would only increase the fire, worsening the disaster.
I sit on the couch with the baby, followed by Justin.
I enjoy the last moments in paradise, quegl'infimi moments that I have been granted. My hands were
You receive the grace, but not my soul.
Like this morning, melancholy pervades me totally, but I'm stronger.
-I miss you big sister ... now who will tease? - Makes me Jus chin trembling, a clear sign that he was going to cry.
stroked him gently and looked at him gently.
My lips form the name of Samuel, continued by another evil grin tenderly. But
-Samuel is smarter, and then hit me if I bother! - Continues to complain about looking into my eyes.
How I envy her childhood.
Already
-Tamuel and hunted with us! - Lisa puts it, that still does not speak very well, given his age babies.
I wanted to laugh so much out loud, but I just do it in silence, as usual.
No, it is true that Samuel is bad ... it's not true.
Samuel is angelo better and more beautiful than the sky can accommodate, but so, too much anger inside.
That a boy of eleven, and a child of four could not understand it.
We stay for a while so, in that bitter knot that was about to melt, until arrives, this time really, the earthquake. ***
The bell, pressed firmly and insistently, he takes us by surprise, scared.
is Samuel, the arrogant angel. The small
clinging to my neck, while Justin runs in their bedroom, rinchiudendocisi inside.
I do not dare go to open it to move a muscle.
I hear my mother to hurry to make him stop.
A thud and a cry startled us for the second time.
Lisa starts to cry, but I keep close to me, so send my safety.
-Samuel, for heaven's sake, get a CALM !!!!!- cries my mother to my brother, a adolescent of sixteen years filled with anger was violently slammed the front door, and without listening to it was then stowed in our room.
close my eyes, hoping that my father did not intervene.
But in vain.
When I hear his steps heavy and powerful approach, I stand up quickly, and Lisa from Justin port.
repeatedly knock the door until I open.
-E 'pissed is not it? - Allarmatissimo the baby asks me, his eyes full of concern.
nod, and then gave him a dirty looks, I know that it bothers me to say bad words.
Come, do not cry ...- then turned to Lisa, bringing it to play with stuffed animals. I feel close
the door, and lead to my room like a lightning bolt during a storm.
My mother is there, desperate, with my father who violently beats his fists against the door.
-SAM, OPEN THE BLOODY DOOR, OR I SWEAR THAT THE Knock down'!!!!!- angry cries, like a raging torrent.
Obviously Sam is not responding.
do not realize that they are, otherwise they would stop.
between dad and I toss the door before he can smash it with a kick.
-Oh, man, Alice! What are you doing?! - Blurts out throwing punches in the air.
stared into her eyes. I do not want
frighten him, sure, but he knows not to make me angry.
E 'conscious of the fact that you should not throw gasoline on the fire.
Her look is a mix of bitterness, exasperation, and disappointment.
-Jerard, please ...- sighs My mother looked imploringly.
A torrent could never put out a fire so devastating.
Move your eyes from her to me, then goes away contemptuously, yelling and cursing, stalked by my mother weeping and trembling.
I repeat, do not blame him.
When finally, after about a quarter of an hour, the forest fell silent I decided to knock. From inside
my room is there no noise, not even the buzzing of a fly.
Everything is silent.
Samuel is angry with me, and I know why, but I could not believe that I can hold a grudge so much!
After a while, though, here he comes to the door.
I do not have time to open his mouth, that pulls me in with a jerk, then looking at both right and left closes the door and turns toward me with a resentful air.
-So?? Are you satisfied?? - Hissed at me with those emerald out of their sockets, and a crooked smile and maniacal.
I look down on the ground, with repentance and regret. In a few
moments you create an awkward silence.
-So?? That there is now no longer even talk to me ???!- continue increasing the intensity of the stamp, the risk of scratching the trachea.
remain muta.Forse had not understand the concept ... I could not speak.
I could not hear the notes of my demons, and his voice.
I could, and did not want.
Launch angry sigh, running his hands through his hair.
-Okay, okay ... let's put it this way ... if you could open the goddamn mouth, most likely would not be forced to go to an institution for the mentally ill, overseas !!!!!- exacerbates gesticulating animatedly with his hands.
shake my head as tears began to flow over the cheekbones, Scott.
was certainly not why I was going to be ripped off from Newport, my beloved hometown, and he knew better than me, he kept the oppressed in this manner? He pants
sinking into the chair next to my bed.
-Look ... I'm sorry ... ok? I just want you ... I would not go away from me ... I know that, right? - Asks me trying not to cry.
course capisco.E 'what I want too much.
We grew up together, we had only two years apart, and have always been a virtually all one.
Everything we have done in our lives, we've always done insieme.Sempre.
And now we should have split for the first time, for eternity.
falls back a surreal silence, muffled by the hum of the Play Station solto on, and our breaths.
With distraction, Sam looks at his watch, and all of a sudden jumps up with a splash, launching an expletive.
-Shit! Shit, Alice are the two! Ca ... FUCK! - Ends with a screeching, remaining in the middle of the room with his mouth open and eyes even more.
was time, more minutes, not minutes. I
At three, my mother, my father and we should have found all'areoporto, and we should take the flight to San Francisco.
I would have accompanied the institution, would have finished the last paperwork with the director of the structure, and then come back here would be broken down, leaving me in another continent alone and convicted.
I want, I want to say something, anything, but my lips can not get out any sound.
I limit myself to go near him, I would hug him, but I fear a wrong reaction.
-I at least promise not to do other shit?? - Look at me without asking me, gasping like a mad bull.
I nod in silence, and I am amazed when I hear it wrapped around me.
At this point, the raging rivers overflow.
not even try to stop the tears that fall straight on our faces.
remain so, real estate, in the middle of the room for an indefinite amount of time, immersed in an ocean of bitter and salty, while the anger begins to grow moment by moment.
NO ... no, I would never permit her to come out.
I would have left burning in his own flames, screaming and screaming, until his own fire had not swallowed.
I would have done to Sam, Lisa, for Jus.
I would have done for mom and dad.
I would have done to Terry.
I would have done for him I would have done for me.
But like a phoenix, she would be reborn from its ashes. ____________________________________________________
I dedicate this chapter to my Chicca, which has now reached Penny forever.
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